nihil sub sol
1.
contemplating suicide
I chose to sue a Freud
suicide
leave me alone
I gnashed my teeth and toes
in unison with a great big groan
let the cosmic droll drone
never was my fault they found me prone
2.
tango at the core
waltz round to the memorial floor
the wise man said,
"I know I'm filled to be emptied again"
so bottoms up
lets have some more
3.
he begged the ashtray for forgiveness
two puffs to late
I can't think straight
left to ponder what's right
hanging on every word a left handed cigarette says
a wise man knows not to ask why
especially as the seconds pass him by
4.
how would I know if I've changed?
I've been myself this whole time
life gave me lemons
so I made the lemon meringue pie
5.
You burn bright, but you're running
running thin
racing towards that candle wicks inevitable
end
if you wait, everything that is meant to be, will stay.
6.
if you reap what you sow,
what of the man with the golden scythe
and the silver loom to show?
beg him twice, he will be nice
but will insist he must go
7.
must reel in the flesh,
but remain real in the flesh.
8.
My tongue ain't forked
its forthed
9.
trade an ear for an eye
telling her “My oh my"
I’d rather eat the apple
than partake in this cherry pie
10.
she made my cauldron bubble
the tarot card spoke of a red queen
I then proclaimed,
"Red queen clean"
off with his head
the gnomes then returned to
paint the roses red
11.
Money talks
so, I speak quietly
letting the idle times
mosey on by me
12.
my tongue forthed four ways
twice down the middle
three sections from Sunday
he forthed the forked road
with a short burst
following two lanes home straight
in a candy painted crips hearse
13.
head over a handlebars
a giant ate my ribs for lunch
his tires grew tired,
leaving not even a single rib to spare
it was only a flippant moment,
when my bike ate my ribs for lunch
14.
woke up to one big conclusion
that if this institution is set on a singular solution
then surely my only option left is to
lose it
15.
"Her drinks are held"
the drinks will help
"Like apples held by apple kings
like apples help an apple tree
get up,
lets waltz
16.
the birds and the bees
are quite pleased in your sneeze
God bless you
17.
What a mess an exit can make!
18.
if you walk with a cane
are you able to see why God
favored Abel's sacrifice over that of
Cain?
19.
judge a flower for its fruits
never forsake the roots
surely, you'll be en route
20.
Lean into it you almond
you won’t see a well fall from the sky
until you realize you've spent your whole life
walking on water
again I say,
Lean into it you almond
21.
I started writing my dreams down
they started running away
from fade to black,
to fade to grey
my dreams continue to escape me
up until this very day
22.
Tabular Rasa: Tango at the Core
each woe a remorseless tortoise
trapped in a shell of no purpose
Inquiry? The dead left resourceless
the horse led hearses dragged the postman
past a row of hands holding purses
where each person spoke a verse and said,
"This is really how the divorce went"
but in the end the nurse by the bed of the postman
just whispered curses slowly where this verse went
each word spoken would soon end the search and foul stench of a missing person
23.
never barked twice
nor clucked once
24.
loose leaf lips read
closer
she laughed at my skate shoes
pointing out I was a poser
25.
she says she calls him shortstop
but only because he never makes it to home base
a foul ball at play
she asked me to spit in her face
26.
my stomach was in exodus
and I told the judge
it plead the fifth
with just a stones throw away from Genesis
I ate the apple and did the crime
but at judgment time
still plead the fifth
27.
I met an angel with burnt off wings
tried as I may
she was much more concerned with the
finer things
a meta-angel riddled with digital flings
28.
I gave her all the money
left in my right pocket
for a kiss that would center me
29.
eyes heavier than
the bags packed beneath them
30.
Where are my socks
31.
When the only answer to "what did it cost"
is everything
that's when you know you've sold your sole purpose
now locate your soul
32.
words in my mind
a mile you see
pearl sweatshirt
the vegetarian prodigy drones
in the distance
a mental case lost at sea
33.
this age-old game of telephone grows weary
one writer to another all dressed and dreary
One Missed Call from those that fear me
hold the call and end this query
34.
the boogeyman walks on all fours
like a fly on the floor
picking one nose after the other
never floundering the chance to dig for
gold
always at the behest of his mother
the time between each rhyme exists
manifold
35.
the sword in the stone
to pull Excalibur
you need at least one stoned philosopher
and a king soon to prosper
36.
You cannot vomit up
that which the spirit consumes
so therefore, on this day
I pray
I pray the Lord our God unleashes
monsoons
37.
frozen in perpetual motion
icicle face melt
the banana skin peels off Orion’s belt
kick the chair
tie the cord
let there be might
38.
Jokes on you
this joker flew too close to the sun
his angel smile paint
melted back into the maze
painting the town red
keep looking through the glass,
Alice
you'll never be fed.
39.
there is a precise reason that the severely
mentally ill cling to nicotine smoke
like their life depends on it
something is feeding on us
40.
sorry I missed your call
my ears were glued shut
41.
everything exists within multiple realities
a wave of potential
potential until a conscious observer
collapses it into solder matter
42.
exalt the light
paradise
it calls on me
"No weapon formed against me will prosper"
does not mean a weapon will not at minimum
be formed
43.
she wore glasses she was always dropping on the ground
I began to call her floor eyes
44.
it is my own estimation
that Christians are the only ones
going around regularly giving
Christ a bad name,
or so I assumed.
45.
Stay In Line
that’s the funny price that the youth pay,
the desire for things only
that leave you feeling
so
not what they seemed
44.
they know my eyes
inhale my eyes
death by blue depth
depth by blue death
45.
it’s an artist’s duty as a civil servant
to inflict himself upon you
Noe way that’s not true
but art should always be
irreversibly new
46.
the Egyptians are sus af
47.
you should keep a love line open forever
something will dictate that you keep the call on hold
so, keep hanging up
48.
I don’t heal
so, I’m always going into the fight
with broken wings
always
I’m just getting wiser
49.
eyes close
eye open
mouth closed
mouth open
tongue forked
50.
my punishment for surviving all the suicide attempts
is certain and clear
and I must live with it
51.
cornered where one loss at a corner
meets another
and I’ll continue to ramble until
all that’s left is other
or at least that’s what the omens and signs dictate
all four your domain
in continues until rest is well earned
and well deserved
52.
sandy man sandy man
spit me a dream
remind me just how fit in these supreme 36in jeans
53.
now I lay me down to sleep
I tell the Lord I'll count the sheep
and when I die before I wake
all my sleep my Lord will take
54.
he's the ticket dodging aristocrat
an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind
spare the lone survivor
with an eye still intact
you will find him lost in the ICU
because I assure you when I say that
I see you
55.
we all are guilty of wearing a mask
different masks for varying tasks
its really sort of a matter of fact
burning through life, our face barely intact
56.
prophesize?
have you seen that prophet’s size?
let alone its profit size
57.
WANTED:
a published Paul
guilty of the crime of remaining an
unpublished Peter.
58.
God sanctioned mission
curse, but Christ bound
three days later,
Christ found
59.
loveless throughout this
love laced spine
her loose leaf lips
they read
"closer this time"
60.
done in the darkness with the
soul intent of it seeing the light
illuminate the the exercise
61.
if a beagle howls in the woods,
and no one is around to heed his call
was his nose ever onto anything at all?
62.
High horse?
this horse has ten years sober
63.
if it truly takes two to tango
riddle me this
How am I doing the merengue alone?
64.
when you fall from a bedrock bottom
you fall upward
oh, fallen demon, you've failed
only way down is up
are you down?
we all know you only tripped
to make the fall shorter
65.
prescient presence
fear abominated in the spirit
for He rose,
stepping into the title of
risen Lord
66.
misery loves company
so, I do my best to keep mine at a distance
keeps my recesses extra lonely
I hide it behind the books on the shelf
the thought being that surely
put it somewhere no one ever digs into
the books don’t get read, but the spines talk
they tell me tales of the misery hiding behind them
a misery I find no safety from
no even when I hide it
a one-sided friendship, akin to many of mind
so goodbye old friend
I’m sure I’ll see you again
but until then, things need to change
for us to win.
67.
if an artist is a prophet of pain
one must ask oneself
why would anyone profit off pain?
68.
a whisper told me
God sends power in on the back of fools
and children
and that there isn’t a damned thing heaven can't embrace
69.
if I met you at one point of time or another
were you part of the journey?
or a missed destination.
Did we help and aid one another is some way?
did I maker my exit too quickly?
What a mess an exit can make.
were we destined to cross paths?
or to intersect at His behalf
lost in the desert you served as a guide
a lightning bug or a fire light fire fly.
70.
in comes I
the shortest straw I draw and fantasize
about another time
and walk forward with pride
I find a reason to the madness
silent sigh
he sleeps and dreams of life
waking up just in time to see
both sides
71.
I was interning at faith
the devil had my number
he paged me
he said I was hired.
72.
Protestants disagree with Catholics
Catholics disagree with Protestants
WWJD
I imagine he would flat and full fold be grateful
especially given that he is being pursued
I know the pieces fit
because I watched them fall away
a result of dueling denominations bubbling within
a fallen demon is not scripture
but I find it a poetic concept
falling upward down from the drop
73.
lost in the desert
OH, how Jewish of me.
74.
"Heal loudly, because you've suffered in silence for so long"
what an interesting thing to suggest
I’ve suffered so loudly for so long
I’m not sure the decibels will be safe for this healing
75.
it was certain at times in nowhere
that he fell
certain int times of nowhere
were that which was deemed nothing
fell out of hells grace
becoming everything
76.
there is no safety when cold is near
need a good seeing eye dog?
choose one that can’t see fear
practicing practicing what I preach
77.
My shadow jumps every time I see him
I wonder what he’s up to
78.
consequences of my actions?
my mind and absent state of a sound being
went against my better judgment
God always forgives, humans however
are not always as gifted.
teach the dog to sleep outside in the rain, because Afterall, it is his fault for pissing indoor, right?
Of course, it is, he knows better, I told him in plain English. I even told him “Don’t spit where you eat"
it’s not my fault his breed was a little bit slow
I wanted an obedient boy Afterall, not an intelligent one.
Gold retired, but golden memories lost, perhaps they weren't so golden Afterall.
Joyce told me once, Joyce told me again,
but this time at her manor, take care of all things
because Of All Things I will Soon Grow Tired
it’s a curious thing to feel eternity behind vowels and consonants
a glorious horror of Lovecraftian proportions
a full fool can only stomach what’s left
and what might that be?
just deserts.
79.
my soul hurts
I’ll never forget when I raised a hand in bible study
specifically, to tell that pastor that "my soul hurts"
an ache beyond words, but they'll still try
a hedgehog’s dilemma, and I never was a fan of sonic
so many words desperate to burst forth into the next sentence. must remain selective
for it is paramount you see, a movie
of all the things I’ve done, of all the things yet to come
Joyce was right
I will soon grow tired
I’m adjusting, a Justin, best believe that
breaking, this just in,
sad boy Saturn has a ring to it
he who devoured his son
had the world to gain, but everything to lose
Capricorn, capricame.
I took a bite and felt the same
I’ve looked underneath the bed, below my pillow, next to my mattress,
I’ve yet to find that which one calls
every lasting peace
if only for a piece of heaven
she’s a fickle and fiendish mistress
dogmatic barking her sweet musings to me
I feel eternal in these moments
slipping back into the gap again
hawk spit, vomit takes
lost before each vowel, hiding safely behind warm consonants
a writer who barely writes
the end is near, never far,
and it shall one day appear
because one day always comes suddenly
curse my gifted affliction
always gone but never missing
xoxo gossip girl.
80.
had sleep paralysis last night
it went came and went in about ten minutes time
a weird phenomenon
I watched each moment
each second eating a bit of the past
I begun breathing deeply
wiggling my big toe to break from it
I broke through the paralysis
smashing and throwing things about the room
I woke up
back in bed
in another layer of sleep paralysis
the door to my bedroom was ajar
what’s behind a door in a dream
is not what’s behind that door in wake
minutes passed on the clock in real time
I watch the clock trapped in my dream state
a demon let from the corner onto my chest
claiming he was Gabriel
no prayer I uttered was capable of waking me
I began to wiggle my big toe again
breaking free from my entrapment
only to smash the room around me of its contents
I picked up my phone to dial 911
the phone was invisible, but the numbers weren’t
I smashed it as well
the digits flying from the keypad to the clock
11:34 pm, sure this was hell
with the demon perched atop my mantle
his wings spread and flapped
suddenly suffocating me
I thrashed and I screamed to no avail
a dark voice echoed that Gabriel was there
I cried out to Christ, I cried out to the arch angels
they went unanswered
I awoke one final time in my bed, the clock read 11:34pm.
90.
diamonds are created under pressure,
and grapes must be crushed to make wine
olives get pressed to make oil
these seeds will grow in the dark just fine
91.
John 11:35
the shortest verse in the bible
"Jesus wept"
Jesus wept over the pain death causes
death being a bitter sweet being
often as bitter as it’s a lesson left for the living
sweet because paradise is just a stone’s throw from its doors
92.
I am a stronger man than my father
and he, a stronger man than me
one, two, three,
holy trinity
train this discernment like your life depends on it
93.
pray for your arrival, never pray for your mistakes
beating a dead horse, we repeat
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus,
save us
94.
Satan you sad silly clown
the candy ain't no longer sweet
you may be found down below my crux,
but I assure you,
it is up.
95.
You can only save a drowning man in a specific way
if you jump in without understanding this, you run the risk of being drowned along with him
a drowning man has no wherewithal for keep their savior afloat
their focus is one of a desperate scramble for safety
this means pushing you down as they aim to stay afloat
you can’t always save a drowner of your own accord
you must approach using the proper form
bring a tool to save the drowner
wiser winds will keep you both afloat
96.
let me get this straight,
this because of eve?
As depressed as I am, I am astonished I go to work every day and do asbestos I can
truly
not a day passes of late that I don’t flirt with the tiniest notion
of self-conclusion in one simplified motion
I still get up, and dread the day away
until it ends
until it all ends
I will pray constantly
I keep the sin up off me
just long enough to realize
I’m still basking in its glow
ever constantly missing marks
don’t forget your youth the knee bone said to the skull cap
as it whacked it over and over again
embrace the cold reality that it will be stamped out of you by life
and life alone
there are books on this subject
but I don’t want to read them
be young while your youth fleets
because once its stripped away
it will be a sad day for sure
and whether its stripped away in grace
or disgrace,
it doesn’t matter.
It is taken against your will regardless,
and you are incapable of not missing it
not even in some slight regard
I cry a lot this day, I can’t help it
I fortunately don’t cry as much as I’m capable
I couldn’t tell you why
I’m tired
but still a stone through from being old
I hate the day away until the gambit of gambling at night
will it be nightmares or dreams on this night
either option, I always prefer sleep over wake
keep waking up and doing what needs to be done
I know you enjoy a respite as much as I
98.
99.
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